


Where Thoughts Can Bloom

by PastelPunkPrincess



Series: Sex Ed Series [15]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anxiety, Asking Out, Emotional Hurt, Feelings, Feels, Hurt, M/M, Making Up, Panic Attacks, Phone Calls & Telephones, Unresolved Emotional Tension, afraid of commitment, avoiding, ignoring, new emotions, not knowing how to handle feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10383420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPunkPrincess/pseuds/PastelPunkPrincess
Summary: Frank starts avoiding Gerard, but Gerard won't have that. He forces him to stay after class and work things out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for tHE FEELS!
> 
> Warning: Feels and Insinuated Panic Attack

Frank stayed to himself for the next few days, getting to class just before the bell and leaving as soon as it rang. He didn't talk in class, he didn't act out, he didn't even look at Gerard. He was doing it, partially to enact his little plan, but also because something in him hurt whenever he thought about the older man and he wanted to avoid dealing with that feeling, so he avoided him.

Mr. Way seemed to notice the odd behavior, but after their phone call, Frank guessed he probably thought he'd been serious when he said he'd leave him alone, which is what he hoped for, but Gerard wasn't taking the bait so far.

Frank wasn't really done with him, but he also didn't want to deal with the situation at hand either. Part of him guessed that deep down inside, the conversation had actually hurt him in some way, Gerard said he didn't want him anymore. That wasn't really a confidence booster on Frank's part, but it was a hundred percent his fault, so he guessed he had it coming.

So the younger man just drew in Gerard's class and avoided him at all cost, waiting for the older man to start to miss him and eventually get desperate.

What he didn't count on, was what Gerard did eventually do.

Frank sat in the back of Mr. Way's class, drawing in his notebook, when he heard Gerard call his name.

The younger man reluctantly looked up from his sketch, to see the whole class staring at him. It was a little unnerving, but Frank had no idea what was going on, since he hadn't been paying attention. Now all eyes were on him, and he guessed that Gerard must have asked him a question, but there was no way he was going to be able to answer and humor wasn't going to help him, so he just stared at him like he had no idea what to do.

Gerard folded his arms and raised an eyebrow at him, yeah he was in trouble now.

"Frank, I asked you a question."

Sarcasm it was.

"Naw, I thought I'd just won the lottery," Frank quipped.

Gerard scoffed and unfolded his arms, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Well then, I guess you wouldn't mind staying after class to 'collect you prize'.

Frank felt anger bubble up in him, as he huffed and slammed his notebook closed. He couldn't believe Gerard was making him stay after class. He was defiantly going to drag this whole desperation thing out a lot longer now because of this.

Frank stewed in his chair, glaring at Gerard with his arms crossed, the entire rest of the class and all Gerard did was ignore him. Yeah, he was defiantly dragging this out.

It wasn't long before the bell rang and the rest of the students filed out, as Gerard messed with some papers at his desk.

Once he was done, the older man stood up and walked toward him.

Frank decided it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

So he just went back to drawing in his notebook, ignoring Gerard, when he cleared his throat loudly, trying to get his attention.

Frank could see him in his peripheral, but he pretended to still be engrossed in his sketch.

The young teacher sighed and leaned back against a nearby desk.

"Frank, look, what I said on the phone.... I"

"Don't worry about it," Frank interrupted him in a clipped tone, still not looking up.

"Frank, please listen to me. _All I've done_ since then is worry about it. I... I hurt you and I realize that, but-"

"But, you don't really care, because you just want to be done with me," Frank hissed with all the venom he could muster, looking up at Gerard now, fire in his eyes.

Yeah, he was being childish and throwing a fit, but he didn't realize until now, just how much this was affecting him. He didn't realize how angry it was making him, that Gerard tried to just brush him off, no matter how much he knew the older man hadn't really meant what he said, because the thing was, at the time, he did, and that really hurt him.

All of this unresolved anger and emotion was suddenly bubbling up in Frank, out of nowhere, and he was lashing out. He didn't know why he was feeling this way, or what was causing it, because he had worked out his plan already, everything was supposed to be going his way, he was supposed to be in control, but that did nothing to ebb the strong emotions he was feeling all of the sudden.

He didn't feel in control at all, he felt helpless.

"I don't want to be done with you Frank," Gerard whispered softly, with strong conviction in his eyes, and Frank had to believe him.

The younger man felt all his anger deflate like a balloon, and he was just left feeling empty and weird.

"Then what do you want Gerard?"

"I... I want to take you out to dinner to make up for being a jerk, not just on the phone, but in class a few days ago too."

Frank's heart stopped in fear at what the older man just said, his eyebrow twitching up in confusion and disbelief. No way he heard him right.

"Like a.... date?"

"Yes Frank, because obviously this means more to you than just sex, if you're getting this bent out of shape over the thought of me not wanting you anymore, because I doubt you're throwing a fit over not getting any," Gerard stood up and looked down at him, biting his bottom lip before he spoke again, "And believe it or not, against all odds, it means more for me too."

For once, Frank didn't have the answer to this. He didn't know what to say, he didn't have a witty retort, and he didn't know how to feel, he just knew that he was feeling an overwhelming tangle of emotions all at once, and he blinked a few times in shock, his face drawing up in confusion, as his brain felt like it was malfunctioning.

He never felt this way before, he'd never gotten emotional about things that had happened between him and the people he'd had sex with before, and it was scaring the shit out of him, he was being completely blindsided right now, and it felt like he wanted to cry and beat the shit out of someone, but at the same time, like he was giddy as a puppy.

Frank didn't know how to process any of this, he just knew that it felt gross and that he wanted it to stop before he got sick or something. He wanted to be in control of his emotions, not the other way around.

Then Gerard spoke again, breaking him from his trance.

"Frank I... I realized something the other day, after you hung up on me, it was like a punch to the gut. I felt like I really fucked up this time and everything was over, and I... I don't even understand how, but I was scared that I'd never have anything with you again, and it hurt. It felt like everything was ripped away from me, and then you started ignoring me and I...," he spoke softly and knelt down in front of him.

Frank just stayed quiet, too afraid to speak, as the older man's eyes searched his. He seemed so sad and pleading, and it was only making this horrible pain in his chest intensify to monstrous proportions.

"Frank... please, just come to dinner with me. Just try it. If it doesn't work out, then I'll know where we stand, but if you don't, you'll probably regret this for the rest of your life, because I know I will."

The younger man had no idea what to say to that and now he really did feel like he was going to be sick. It felt like his brain was trying to clamber out of his skull, and he only vaguely realized he was white knuckling the edge of his desk.

Gerard just looked down at the floor forlornly and gave him a sad smile, standing up and walking away slowly to go collect his things, his head down in utter defeat.

Suddenly a new feeling tore at the pit of Frank's stomach, as he watched the older man walk away in rejection and his lips moved before his brain could stop him, before he even realized he spoke.

"Wait!"

Gerard spun around quickly, his face a mixture of hopeful and desperate.

Frank could see how much this meant to him and something in him wouldn't let him just walk away. He couldn't back out of this now.

After all the shit that he put Mr. Way through, he figured he deserved to at least have this one night of happiness. If this was what Gerard wanted, then he would give it to him, but there was this underlying feeling that he couldn't quite place, the he also wanted to go, not just to make Gerard happy, but for himself too.

Something horribly strange was happening and he didn't know what it was, but if felt like he'd been possessed.

"How do you want to do this date thing?" he questioned looking up at him, and watching as a warm smile grew on the older man's face.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Frank lay on his bed trying to process how in the hell he ended up with a date on Friday at the nice Chinese food place on Penn.

It felt like a complete whirlwind, and so many emotions were rolling throw him, that he felt dizzy with all of it.

He was shaking, he felt so panicked.

Every time he thought about it, his heart would race and his vision would go out of focus, like his head was in a big fishbowl, the whole world distorted and warped by the hazy bent glass. It would always get kind of hard to breath and then he felt like he was going to be sick.

How the hell was he going to tell his parents that he had a date Friday?

Frank had never had a date in his whole life. He'd never wanted one. Dates meant feelings and commitment, and before you know it, you're in love and getting married and shit, so Frank was freaking the fuck out, because he didn't want any of that, he wasn't ready for it, but here he was, going on a date with Gerard on Friday.

He wanted to scream at himself for being so braindead as to agree to something like that.

He was pretty sure he needed an exorcism for whatever demon crawled up his ass, because this was not rational Frank behavior and obviously there was something very very wrong with him.

So he lay there pulling his hair out about why Way's puppy dog eyes had gotten him to give over his soul in exchange for some quality time with his teacher.

He wanted to gag and shoot himself just for thinking about it, but then something stronger always butted in, making him actually feel excited of all things, about what was going to happen.

He sighed heavily and pushed himself up, grabbing his phone off his nightstand.

Frank needed to call Bob.

Hopefully he wasn't still too mad at him about the forgetting dinner thing.

His friend picked up on the third ring and Frank braced himself for the conversation he needed to have.

"Bob, I need your help with something. Something really important."

"Yeah?"

"You, um, remember that guy I told you about. Well, we made up, but now he wants to take me on a.... a date."

"That's great Frank!"

"No, it's not, Bob. I never go on dates with anyone, you know that. This was just supposed to be a sex thing. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel weird and now I'm panicking because I agreed to this and I never do things like this Bob. What the hell is wrong with me!"

"Whoa, whoa, Frank, calm down. I know exactly what's going on," the blonde reassured him.

"What? Is it curable? Please tell me it is."

Bob chuckled like it was the funniest thing that Frank was in actual real pain right now and probably dying.

"Wow Frank, you're one hopeless motherfucker, you know that. Just think of it as trying something new, go on the date with him and have fun. Then if you still feel the same way, you can call me back and I'll tell you what to do. Until then, enjoy ya' crazy idiot," and with that, the burly man hung up, leaving Frank feeling even more helpless and lost than before.

He was really starting to hate his life.

Frank just fell back on the bed and groaned, time for round to of the horrible cycle of emotion he was in.

**Author's Note:**

> SO, what do you think is wrong with Frank?
> 
> Let me know what you thought, comments and votes are much appreciated.
> 
> I really can't tell you how in love I am with this story, but it's my baby and I'm so glad that I can share it with you. I just hope you all love it as much as me.
> 
> Thank you all for reading.
> 
> "Be prepared to feel the Romance!"
> 
> xoxWeylin


End file.
